Chael Sonnen Challenges Christine Drazan To Cage Match For Oregon Governor’s Seat

By Darke Twain

SALEM, Ore. — Forget debates, endorsements, and campaign mailers. Oregon’s 2026 gubernatorial race has officially gone full pay-per-view after Chael Sonnen, MMA loudmouth and part-time political pundit, challenged former GOP leader Christine Drazan to settle the election “the only way real Oregonians understand: inside the cage.”

At a press conference held in front of a Harley dealership, Sonnen declared: “Christine can keep her talking points. I’ll put the governorship on the line in a five-rounder, no headgear, winner takes Mahonia Hall. Loser has to endorse Measure 110 forever.”

Drazan, caught off guard, tried to pivot. “This election should be about leadership and balance, not spectacle,” she said. “The people of Oregon deserve better—”

Sonnen cut her off: “Balance? Lady, I’ll ground-and-pound balance straight into the mat. This isn’t about policy; it’s about dominance. And Oregon wants a governor who can choke out inflation with a rear-naked choke.”

Political analysts say the stunt is “unprecedented but depressingly on-brand” for Oregon politics. “We had three governors in a row who couldn’t manage their way out of a paper bag,” one pundit noted. “Why not just let Sonnen suplex Christine Drazan live on ESPN? At least the ratings would be better than a Kotek speech. They'd be better if the two competitors didn't include a guy who thinks he can appoint a Lt. Governor when that doesn't exist in Oregon, or a woman who keeps using the same moves in every appearance.”

Vegas oddsmakers immediately set Sonnen as the heavy favorite, noting Drazan’s “glass jaw from the 2022 campaign trail” and “lack of ground game beyond a few dusty House bills.” One line even read: “Sonnen by submission, Round 2 — via campaign finance chokehold.”

Drazan, however, isn’t bowing out. “I’ve taken hits before,” she said, referencing her narrow 2022 loss. “If Chael wants to square off, I’ll lace up. I’ll prove that Oregon women can lead — even in the Octagon.”

Sonnen responded by posting a mock fight poster on social media: “Sonnen vs. Drazan: The Battle for Salem — No Judges, No Rules, Just Pain.”

When asked if candidate Danielle Bethell would be invited to the match, both stared without blinking for several seconds and said in unison, "Who?"