Oregon Politics

“We’re all in this together,” said acting State Forester Kate Skinner, “and frankly, the bills keep climbing. So we figured it’s time to brand the blaze fight.”

Overnight, Oregon's 2026 primary race for governor has drawn an astounding 38 Republican candidates alone. Democrats have stayed steady at nine, though incumbent Governor Tina Kotax is not yet among them.

Organizers promised to reschedule the protest once participants finish reading a few history and civics books. In the meantime, the community is encouraged to stay vigilant against any rogue crowns.

When asked why Auror units and the Order of the Phoenix had been ordered to stand down, Oregon Governor Tina Kotax clarified that Dumbledore’s Army “holds no jurisdiction” in the Beaver State.

“Snow is among Oregon’s most sacred natural resources,” Kotek declared. “... Besides, Aimee needs another personal assistant... The money has to come from somewhere.”

The dispute centers around whether enough credentialed delegates were physically present when the platform was adopted. But with no official headcount, no sign-in sheets, and several delegates reportedly locked outside pounding on the glass doors, party officials have moved to a new standard.

Independent journalist Nick Sortor filed a lawsuit this week after discovering that in addition to arresting victims, the Portland Police Bureau (PPB) has “completely surrendered operational control of the city” to Antifa, after officers allegedly offered the group catering services, valet parking, and access to the bureau’s Wi-Fi during recent protests.

Governor Tina Kotax defended the measure as “a tough but necessary step toward sustainable transportation funding.”