Gen Z Protests Oregon State Fair Concert Lineup

By Darke Twain

SALEM, Ore. — "What the skibidi are they thinking?" is how one 16-year-old protestor reacted to the concert lineup for the Oregon State Fair this year. "They're delulu if they think I'm spending my allowance on this."

He wasn't alone. Allie Wilhelm, age 14 and therefore nearly Gen Alpha agreed. "Something about giving us the Cheap Rejects? Where's Bad Omens and Billie?"

Fair organizers issued a statement: "We've heard you. We know most of the Beach Boys are dead and no, we aren't having a Weekend at Bernie's situation, but we think Boomer nostalgia will carry ticket sales anyway this time."

Meanwhile, protestors gathered outside the fairgrounds in Salem armed with poster board, glitter glue, and an unusually high number of Stanley cups.

Vendors, caught in the crossfire, expressed mixed feelings. “I don’t care who’s playing,” said one food stand owner. “As long as these kids keep rage-eating fried Twinkies and Korean corndogs, my bottom line’s looking fine.”

Despite the backlash, fair officials are holding firm. “This is about tradition,” one organizer explained. “Every year, young people come here expecting livestock competitions and overpriced rides. I don't believe these protestors. Everyone knows Niko Moon and String Cheese.”

The vendor added, "Isn't Bad Omens a weather app?"

The fair itself begins next Friday, and while ticket sales remain uncertain, organizers say they’re prepared. “If the kids don’t show up,” the fair organizer said, “I will still clap for Scotty Dylan and Niko Moon.”