Greta Thunberg And Lord Farquaad Team Up To Take Over WEF

By Darke Twain

DAVOS – Delegates at the World Economic Forum (WEF) were blindsided this week when climate activist Greta Thunberg and animated tyrant Lord Farquaad announced a joint bid for power, striding onto the stage with matching pageboy haircuts and the same expression that says: “Obey, or else.”

Eyewitnesses say the unlikely duo stormed the main stage, their identical haircuts shimmering under the conference lights like two carbon-neutral helmets of destiny. Both wore the same rigid, ruler-straight bob that signals “We don’t want your opinion — we want compliance.”

According to insiders, Thunberg and Farquaad quickly found common ground. Thunberg demanded the eradication of fossil fuels; Farquaad demanded the eradication of woodland creatures. WEF organizers noted both goals involved bulldozers.

“They share the same leadership style: finger-pointing, doom predictions, and extremely sharp bangs,” said Dr. Liesel Bork, a political image consultant. “Together, they represent the terrifying fusion of Scandinavian guilt-tripping and cartoon despotism.”

During their joint keynote, Farquaad reportedly shouted, “Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make for the climate!” while Greta followed with, “How dare you continue existing in a non-sustainable way!” The crowd gave a standing ovation.

Global reactions have been swift. World leaders fear a new era of “Eco-Farquaadism,” where peasants are forced to compost under penalty of exile. Hair salons are also reporting an uptick in requests for “The WEF Ruler Cut,” a style said to pair perfectly with authoritarian speeches and carbon taxes.

Political historians warn this alliance could reshape the future. “The haircut is the message,” one noted. “Farquaad conquered Duloc with it. Greta conquered the UN with it. Together, they may finally conquer Davos.”